May 27th, 2005- With a couple weeks off from league play, we here at the ‘Sin Bin’ had some time to catch up with the ‘Bulldogs’ and their fans. Our research department has been hard at work crunching the numbers and reading our mail. The useless info keeps on coming, but we had to narrow our list on the most current topics at hand. We now present our Top 10 Useless Info Nuggets, Gossip & Other Tidbits of the Week

10.) Joey V: By putting up the hat trick in his last game, Joey became the (Ice) ‘Bulldogs’ all-time leading scorer (42 Points), goal scorer (24 goals) and assists leader (18 assists). Congratulations to Joey F. V. Now if he can only keep his word and bring that piano to practice, we might get to see if he really is the fastest skater on the squad.

 Joey Fu*kin’ V.

9.) Tim Ryan: Still upset from his unconditional release last season, Tim “The Toolbox” Ryan has sent angry and threatening emails to ‘Bulldogs’ management. It’s been a tough year for the ‘Toolbox’ getting cut from three other teams and losing his father to cancer. The ‘Bulldogs’ send their condolences to the Ryan family for their loss, but Ryan’s attitude before and since has been inexcusable. When he was a reserve member of the squad, he rubbed everyone the wrong way with his harsh criticisms and a sour attitude. He also talked a big game, but performed well below expectations. Instead of accepting fault for his rotten play he blamed his teammates, who unanimously agreed that he was not a good fit for the team. Not coincidentally, the ‘Bulldogs’ have gone 10-4 (including the playoffs) since his departure.

8.) Will he or Won’t he?: With Nicolas Cage ready to reprise his role as Tom Welles for the sequel to the 1999 hit film ‘8MM’, it is still uncertain whether James Senne will return as the ‘Machine’. Senne made a big splash in his film debut, but has since retired from acting to focus his energy on hockey. The sequel, “16MM” is set to begin shooting in October. Senne as the Machine!

 7.) Sexy Greek Chick: She is perhaps the ‘Bulldogs’ biggest fan, but her obsession with goalie Alex Martinez could prompt league officials to question her position  as a high ranking official in the EAHL.  ‘Greek Chick’ has already prompted questioning by several other teams with her favoritism and bias towards the ‘Bulldogs’.

6.) Brad Avi: Avi was expected to be the ‘Bulldogs’ starting defenseman this season but a knee injury in a freak firefighting accident has sidelined him for quite possibly the entire season. The rumor mill reports that Avi may lose the leg altogether ending his promising career before it ever began. However, Avi has claimed that he can skate faster on one leg than 2/3^rds of the league, so don’t count him out just yet.

5.) Help out my Esai: James Senne won the ‘Help Out My Esai’ Award last season for leading the club in assists. However, this season he faces some stiff competition for the award by a couple of unlikely challengers. After two games, Maher Karim leads the club with four assists. What makes his lead so odd is the fact that Maher has never led the team at any point, in any season, in any category except turnovers, missed passes and hate mail. Honorable mention goes to his brother Sam, who didn’t register a single point all of last season, but has four points (1 goal & 3 assists) already in two games this season.

 Maher Karim: An offensive weapon?

4.) Teamwork: Speaking of assists, in last week’s game against the ‘Phantoms’, the ‘Bulldogs’ racked up a single game record for assists with 13. This gives them a total of 19 assists in their first two games of the campaign. Last season, they didn’t rack up their 19^th assist until their fifth game. Other records set in the game against the Panthers:

• Most Points: (23)
• Most Goals : (10-tie)
• Most Assists (13)
• Most Players with at least one goal: (6)
• Most Players with at least one assist (7)
• Most Players with at least one point (8)
• Most players with multiple points (7)
• Most Players with multiple assists (6)
• Most Players with the hat trick (2-tie)

3.) Injuries: Frank Lionello is the latest of a string ‘Bulldogs’ to suffer an injury. Frank took a hard shot off of his wrist during practice this week and is questionable for the tournament (see below). Other players who have suffered in juries in the last few months include: Kurt Swanson (back-out indefinitely), Brad Cornis (virus-out for 1-2 weeks), Brad Avi (knee-out indefinitely) and Mike Mancuso (knee-active). Get well soon, guys. The ‘Bulldogs’ need all of their players healthy if they are to make a serious challenge at the Cup this season.

 Despite his injury, Mike Mancuso continues to play.

2.) Johnny’s Ice House Tournament: This tournament gives the ‘Dogs’ an opportunity put their name on the map by playing in front of a National Audience. With all of their recent success and hard work, don’t expect them to disappoint.

1.) The Unabomber: No one knows for sure who this guy is, but he sure is creepy. Several of our readers have sent us information along with some incriminating pictures, further making it impossible for us to ever find out who he really is.

Who is the real ‘Unabomber?

…JFK Assassin?                              …Iraq’s Most Wanted?              …Or Cross-dressing Hooker?

That’s it for now folks. We wish the ‘Bulldogs’ further success this season and wish them well in their upcoming tournament. In the meantime, stay tuned for our next edition of ‘TALES FROM THE SIN BIN’.