Michael Corleone Mancuso
was born in Sicily
to a very well connected family. When he was young,
his family moved to America, because they saw a
bigger opportunity to expand the family's business
of extortion, gambling and prostitution. Once
stateside, the family further ventured into
racketeering, bribery and interstate theft.
Throughout his childhood,
everything that Mike owned either fell off of a
truck or was paid to the family as collateral for
default loans. His hatred for law enforcement
officials and the Justice Department stemmed from
his scarred youth. The FBI and local police harassed
the organization on a regular basis, looking to cast
blame for any illegal activity on the family.
Because the family instilled so much fear around the
neighborhood, the other parents would not let their
kids play with Mike. He was all alone.
During his time in high
school, Mike did befriend two fellows; Joey V. and
Tony Micheles. Joey V. was an alcoholic since the
age of six. He didn't have the common sense (nor was
he ever sober) to know of Mike's connections. Tony
was the son of a loan collector who worked for the
Mancuso's. During their time in school, the three
raised hell, got drunk and failed all of their
classes. Papa Mancuso was not happy with Mike's
grades and behavior as well as the two bad
influences in his life. He shipped him off to a
monastery in Rome,
hoping that Mike would change his ways and study to
become a priest.
Mancuso hated the
monastery. There were no women and he was never
allowed to say a word. Furthermore, the teachers and
clergy were strict and abusive. Never one to just
accept his surroundings, Mike broke the rules
regularly. He got smashed on the baptismal wine in
the cellar and stole money from the church basket to
use on gambling and hookers. When he wasn't creating
havoc, Mike also played for the 'Monastery Monks', a
semi pro hockey team comprised mainly of monks and
priests. They played a fairly clean game (except
Mike) and competed against other teams in
Europe. 'Cooz' was the
squad's leading scorer as well as racking up the
most penalty minutes.
On
the brink of joining
Italy's Olympic Hockey
Team in 1997, Mike soon found himself in serious
trouble. After losing the European Semi-Pro
championships to the 'Albanian Assholes', Interpol
revealed that Mancuso had bet against his own team
in the title game. It was also discovered that he
placed the bet from money stolen from the Vatican at
a casino in Monaco. Facing some serious jail time,
he fled the country and headed back to the U.S. He
is still a wanted man in some parts of Europe to
this day.
Upon
his return to
Chicago, Mike immediately hooked back up with his
two buddies creating havoc. Angry that he never
collected his winnings from the casino in Monaco,
Mike concocted a plan for revenge. On his 18th
birthday in July of 1997, Mancuso, Micheles and Joey
V., decided to rob the Queen Victoria Riverboat
Casino in Elgin, IL. Their robbery was foiled when,
in an ironic twist of fate, they chose the date of
their caper as the same one in which the casino
threw a private party for the Illinois State Police.
After realizing what they were up against, the three
jumped overboard into the river and swam to the
nearest harbor. They stole a boat and sailed it
through many different rivers and creeks until they
subsequently ended up in Mexico.
It
was in Mexico,
where the three found a haven for their exploits.
They got drunk and stoned regularly, moving from
town to town partying until the money ran out in
Cuernavaca. While in Cuernavaca, they decided to get
a job. Mike suggested they tryout for the local
hockey team, the Cuernavaca 'Chupavergas'.
The 'Chupavergas'
were the most notorious team in any sport in the
region, surpassing even the most popular soccer
teams in attendance. When all three made the squad,
they were assigned together on the same offensive
line. Their aggressive, unorthodox and unusual style
of play also made them very popular with the
citizens of Cuernavaca, earning them the nickname 'Cantamañanas
el tres' (The Three
Assholes). Their popularity earned them healthy
contracts, and they lived like kings, drinking
Coronas and screwing whores left and right for the
next seven years.
In
2004, Mike and Tony returned to the
U.S. (Joey V. had
returned 1 ½ years earlier). The statute of
limitations had expired on their crime enabling them
to re-establish their places in society. Shortly
after their arrival, GM Alex Martinez offered the
two a contract to join the 'Bulldogs'. He had
scouted them on a previous deportation to Mexico and
decided to sign them after as a favor to Papa
Mancuso on a loan re-payment.
Mike
currently plays all three forward positions for the
'Bulldogs'. He still drinks excessively and
squanders his earnings on hookers, strippers and
gambling (even though he's permanently banned from
the Queen Victoria
Casino).
Regular Season
Stats
