May
27th,
2005-
With
a couple weeks off from league play, we here at the ‘Sin
Bin’ had some time to catch up with the ‘Bulldogs’ and
their fans. Our research department has been hard at
work crunching the numbers and reading our mail. The
useless info keeps on coming, but we had to narrow our
list on the most current topics at hand. We now present
our Top 10 Useless Info Nuggets, Gossip & Other Tidbits
of the Week
10.)
Joey V: By putting up the hat trick in his last
game, Joey became the (Ice) ‘Bulldogs’ all-time leading
scorer (42
Points), goal
scorer (24 goals) and assists leader (18 assists).
Congratulations to Joey F. V. Now if he can only keep
his word and bring that piano to practice, we might get
to see if he really is the fastest skater on the squad.
Joey
Fu*kin’ V.
9.) Tim
Ryan:
Still upset from his unconditional release last season,
Tim “The Toolbox” Ryan has sent angry and threatening
emails to ‘Bulldogs’ management. It’s been a tough year
for the ‘Toolbox’ getting cut from three other teams and
losing his father to cancer. The ‘Bulldogs’ send their
condolences to the Ryan family for their loss, but
Ryan’s attitude before and since has been inexcusable.
When he was a reserve member of the squad, he rubbed
everyone the wrong way with his harsh criticisms and a
sour attitude. He also talked a big game, but performed
well below expectations. Instead of accepting fault for
his rotten play he blamed his teammates, who unanimously
agreed that he was not a good fit for the team. Not
coincidentally, the ‘Bulldogs’ have gone 10-4 (including
the playoffs) since his departure.
8.)
Will he or Won’t he?:
With Nicolas Cage ready to reprise his role as Tom
Welles for the sequel to the 1999 hit film ‘8MM’, it is
still uncertain whether James Senne will return as the
‘Machine’. Senne made a big splash in his film debut,
but has since retired from acting to focus his energy on
hockey. The sequel, “16MM” is set to begin shooting in
October. 
Senne
as the Machine!
7.)
Sexy Greek Chick:
She is perhaps the ‘Bulldogs’ biggest fan, but her
obsession with goalie Alex Martinez could prompt league
officials to question her position as a high ranking
official in the EAHL. ‘Greek Chick’ has already
prompted questioning by several other teams with her
favoritism and bias towards the ‘Bulldogs’.
6.)
Brad Avi: Avi was expected to be the ‘Bulldogs’
starting defenseman this season but a knee injury in a
freak firefighting accident has sidelined him for quite
possibly the entire season. The rumor mill reports that
Avi may lose the leg altogether ending his promising
career before it ever began. However, Avi has claimed
that he can skate faster on one leg than 2/3rds
of the league, so don’t count him out just yet.
5.)
Help out my Esai: James Senne won the ‘Help Out
My Esai’ Award last season for leading the club in
assists. However, this season he faces some stiff
competition for the award by a couple of unlikely
challengers. After two games, Maher Karim leads the club
with four assists. What makes his lead so odd is the
fact that Maher has never led the team at any point, in
any season, in any category except turnovers, missed
passes and hate mail. Honorable mention goes to his
brother Sam, who didn’t register a single point all of
last season, but has four points (1 goal & 3 assists)
already in two games this season.
Maher Karim: An offensive weapon?
4.)
Teamwork:
Speaking of assists, in last week’s game against the
‘Phantoms’, the ‘Bulldogs’ racked up a single game
record for assists with 13. This gives them a total of
19 assists in their first two games of the campaign.
Last season, they didn’t rack up their 19th
assist until their fifth game. Other records set in the
game against the Panthers:
-
Most
Points: (23)
-
Most
Goals : (10-tie)
-
Most
Assists (13)
-
Most
Players with at least one goal: (6)
-
Most
Players with at least one assist (7)
-
Most
Players with at least one point (8)
-
Most
players with multiple points (7)
-
Most
Players with multiple assists (6)
-
Most
Players with the hat trick (2-tie)
3.)
Injuries:
Frank Lionello is the latest of a string ‘Bulldogs’ to
suffer an injury. Frank took a hard shot off of his
wrist during practice this week and is questionable for
the tournament (see below). Other players who have
suffered in juries in the last few months include: Kurt
Swanson (back-out indefinitely), Brad Cornis (virus-out
for 1-2 weeks), Brad Avi (knee-out indefinitely) and
Mike Mancuso (knee-active). Get well soon, guys. The
‘Bulldogs’ need all of their players healthy if they are
to make a serious challenge at the Cup this season.
Despite
his injury, Mike Mancuso continues to play.
2.)
Johnny’s Ice House Tournament:
This tournament gives the ‘Dogs’ an opportunity put
their name on the map by playing in front of a National
Audience. With all of their recent success and hard
work, don’t expect them to disappoint.
1.) The
Unabomber:
No one knows for sure who this guy is, but he sure is
creepy. Several of our readers have sent us information
along with some incriminating pictures, further making
it impossible for us to ever find out who he really is.
Who is
the real ‘Unabomber?
…JFK
Assassin? …Iraq’s Most
Wanted? …Or Cross-dressing Hooker?
That’s
it for now folks. We wish the ‘Bulldogs’ further success
this season and wish them well in their upcoming
tournament. In the meantime, stay tuned for our next
edition of ‘TALES FROM THE SIN BIN’.
