GAME RECAP BULLDOGS Nationals Date/Time Rink 1 13 02/02/2005 West Rink

February 3rd, 2005- Prior to a hardcore practice last Friday, the EDGE Ice Arena offered free hot dogs and Italian beef sandwiches to the team for no price. Hesitant at first to accept the freebies, several ‘Bulldogs’ swooped down and grabbed all they could. The sandwiches made for a less than appetizing, after-practice snack, as many players could be seen chomping away at the soggy munchies while guzzling down some warm beer. No one thought much of it at first, but the mysterious sandwiches were about to curse the team.

The first victim of the curse was Kurt Swanson, who woke up in tremendous pain the following morning after practice. His back was hurt so badly he could barely move and required an MRI. Needless to say, he will miss some considerable time with the injury.

The next victim was Maher Karim, who got nailed with a severe case of congestion. Feeling dehydrated and stuffed up, he could do no more than cough up some lung butter and beef by- products for three days. Fortunately, he was able to kick it, but was still feeling a bit weak by game time and played nonetheless.

Joey V. was the third to be cursed. Although he had very little of the sandwiches, the mixture of beer and the touch of gonorrhea he contracted playing in Mexico last summer gave him a bad case of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) for the better part of three days. He too was feeling better by game time, but the illness affected him as evidenced by his constant backside scratching during warm-ups.

The fourth and fifth victims were affected in similar ways. Sal Karim and Arnie Becker were hit with a case of amnesia. Sal, forgot who he was until Tuesday morning, when he realized he had a term paper due for class the next morning. He was forced to miss the game for his academic priorities. Arnie’s amnesia wasn’t so temporary, as he completely forgot to even show up. At press time, his whereabouts are still unknown to anyone including himself. Look for him in the next few days to appear on a milk carton.

At game time, the ‘Bulldogs’ felt as though they had gotten past the curse. They couldn’t have been more wrong. Their much-hated rivals, the ‘Nationals’ scored four goals in the first 6 minutes of play, en route to a 13-1 thrashing! The game was decided early as victim # 6, Alex Martinez lost all of his cat-like reflexes and began to allow goal after easy goal.

The ‘Bulldogs’ lone goal came on a Bill Nolan shot (assisted by John Reeg) in front of the crease. “Bill battled hard all night in that area, putting about 5 or 6 shots on net” said Martinez, its good to see him finally rewarded with a goal. Unfortunately this occurred late in the second period, long after the game had been decided.

When the final horn blew, it ended the merciless onslaught that the exhausted team had endured all evening. “We did some things good” said Jason Darfler. “We just do it enough and on a consistent basis.”

The ‘Bulldogs’ plan on putting the loss behind them and moving on. With a 1-2 record, they will have to put their best foot forward and start fresh next week.

The Good:

-Penalties: The ‘Bulldogs’ were called for only one penalty.

The Bad:

-Passing: The ‘Bulldogs’ made many errant, wide or blind passes that resulted in turnovers.

-Puck Control: Or lack thereof! 

-Power Plays: The ‘Dogs’ just couldn’t get much going on their two power plays, looking more like they were on the kill rather than having the extra man advantage. They even gave up a short-handed marker in the third period.

The Ugly:

-The Curse of` The Beef Sandwich: Beware those of you who haven’t been victimized. The rumors circulated quickly throughout the hockey world that the same beef sandwiches were being served at the NHL labor negotiations. At press time, the NHL was prepared to announce the cancellation of the 2004-2005 season.

Player(s) of the Game:

-Bill Nolan : Bill was the only offensive force of the game, constantly putting himself in position to score. The games lone goal was his.

Next up: The ‘.45’s’ Time & Place TBD.