June 1st, 2006- The ‘Bulldogs’ came into the ‘Denny Pratt Memorial Tournament’ last year as an underrated, unknown commodity. They left the tourney as the champs, having steamrolled over teams from the JAL and others from as far north as Wisconsin. Unfortunately, the title defense run came to an abrupt halt, as they were eliminated in the semi-finals by a dirty ‘Hellfish’ squad. The ‘Smellfish’ rolled all the way to the title, thanks to some under-handed tactics, mainly from Mr. Conflict-of-Interest.

There was some cause for concern that the ‘Dogs’ would be too exhausted to compete. Including the four games in this tournament, they had played a total of ten games in twelve days. In those twelve days they played several doubleheaders spanning different time zones, from early morning games to contests as late as midnight. Those concerns were put to rest on the first day of competition as the ‘Dogs’ defeated their arch rivals, the dreaded ‘Hellfish’ 5-4 in the opener. They followed up the impressive victory with an easy defeat of the ‘Bayside Raiders’ 7-3, later that evening.

The second day of play didn’t go as well. Perhaps the premature celebration of their first day victories was the cause. Many players got hammered that night by over consuming cheap booze (Ol’ Pennsylvania), stale beer and large Samoan chicks. While the ‘Bulldogs’ have proven in the past that they can hold their liquor, it may have been the Samoans, that led to their untimely demise.

The ‘Dogs’ early game against the ‘Whaling Wolfpack’ was a disaster. Not only did they lose 7-2, but they posted only 12 shots on goal for the entire game. Furthermore, they lost one of their star players for not only the remainder of the tournament, but possibly for several months.

With just under a minute left in the meaningless contest, rookie center, Jeremy Campbell got in the way of a shot attempt by his opponent. The blade of the stick somehow got under the visor of his helmet and struck him between the eyes on the upper portion of the nose. The freak incident left Campbell bloodied and sprawled down on the ice. He was helped up by his teammates and rushed to the hospital shortly thereafter. After several tests and a CAT scan, it was revealed that he suffered a skull fracture, broken nose, broken ocular cavity and some other serious injuries.

“Jeremy played his ass off, despite the circumstances” said Alex Martinez. “We were down big, late in that game and he played hard to the very end. We could all learn a lesson from that kind of attitude.”

In the semi-final game against, the ‘Hellfish’, the ‘Dogs’, though short-handed and exhausted from a tough, two week schedule, put up their best effort, only to lose to the ‘Hellfish’, 6-4. It was a game marred with controversy, penalties and ejections. The frustration mounted throughout the game as the tensions between the rival clubs escalated.

With the ‘Dogs’ trailing 4-2 near the end of the second period, ‘Hellfish’ defenseman Frank “Wuss” Wisniewski, threw several consecutive cross-checks onto Maher Karim. Having been a marked man during the entire tourney by the ‘Hellfish’, Maher had seen enough. He cold clocked Wisiniewski in front of his net, sending the half-dazed, she-male into a whining frenzy. “Normally, I regret it when I lose my cool and resort to violence during a game” said Karim. “Nope, not this time. If I had to do it all again, I’d jack that mascara wearing, b*tch, this time without the glove on. He should be thanking those refs for coming in between us, because they saved that girly-man’s precious life. I can’t wait to play these bastards again!”

Unfortunately, the punch cost the ‘Bulldogs’ another penalty and a damaging ejection. It was something they could ill-afford to do, being short-handed and facing a squad of 15 well rested skaters.

Despite narrowing the gap, the ‘Bulldogs’ tried, but failed to even the score. The loss eliminated them from the tournament, but not without a memorable send-off.

With lees than ten seconds to play, Wisniewski decided to grope Jason Darfler who had control of the puck. Darfler, a no nonsense kind of guy, grabbed ‘Ol Nancy Pants’ (Wisniewski) and threw him down onto the ice, and proceeded to lay into him like a piñata. Within moments, several ‘Hellfish’ players came onto the scene to rescue their fallen comrade. For some reason or another, no one actually jumped in to help Wisniewski, deciding instead to remain spectators.

“I’m obviously disappointed with the result” said Martinez. “The Denny Pratt Memorial is very special to us, as it represents the first title the ‘Bulldogs’ ever won on ice. We had every intention to come in and win. Losing one of our young stars to injury and going down in defeat to a team we despise, makes this even more painful. We’ve had a pretty hectic schedule these last couple of weeks, and I honestly believe the number of games played, coupled with many various injuries, finally caught up to us. All we can do now, is take these few days off to rest, and look forward to resuming league play next week.”

The ‘Bulldogs’ reluctantly congratulate the ‘Hellfish’ on their victory. They look forward to facing them once again, in the Pratt Cup next year. Don’t expect them to lose to this team again.

• Injury: The loss of Campbell proved costly to the ‘Bulldogs’. It left them without one of their fastest players and short-handed in their semi-final game. The ‘Bulldogs’ and their fans wish him well and a speedy recovery.
• Physical Play: The once brutish ‘Bulldogs’ have become one of the softest clubs in the JAL. With few exceptions on this team, most of the players have gone out of their way to avoid any physical contact. Are these guys afraid of the penalty box or is everyone vying for the infamous ‘Tom Vaginarella’ Award?
• Fatigue: The ‘Dogs’ may have over extended themselves by playing too many times in the last several weeks. This was evident in the semi-final game as they just ran out of gas.

Next up: Sunday June 4, 2006 vs. the ‘ROH’ at 9:20PM.