Annual "Chicago Bulldogs Golf Outing" 

June 23rd, 2006- The players are set and so are the teams, as the Bulldogs get ready this weekend for their Annual Ghetto Golfing Event which will be hosted by the Country Lakes Golf Club a.k.a. "Ghetto Lakes" in Naperville..

The Teams:

• The Scoring Machines- Ryne Gerstner, Sal Karim, Mike Mancuso and Jose Somrero

• Team Puck Hogs- Jason Darfler, Nick Munsen, Mike Montague and Alex Martinez Jr.

• Team Donkey Dick- James Senne, Maher Karim, Maher Karim and Alex Martinez Sr.

• Team Samoan Love- Jeremy Campbell, Tony Feeny, Sam Karim and Joe Van Grimbergen

The Prizes:

•  Best Score (Team) wins Bulldog Coffee Mugs

• Worst Score (Team) wins Bulldog Thongs

• Longest Drive (Individual) wins Bulldog T-Shirt

• Closest to the Pin (Individual) wins Bulldog Baseball Cap

• Longest Putt (Individual) Bulldog Stein Mug

About the course:

The GOOD

·          A challenging, well designed course with lots of hazards.

·          There is no bullshit dress code so sleeveless shirts, wife beaters and bikini tops are permitted.

·          There is no self proclaimed club pro or other employees watching your actions on the course, thus making it easy for you to drop your drawers and piss whenever and wherever you please. For those who need to take a shit, there are plenty of trees surrounding the fairways to conceal your activities.

The BAD

·          The motorized carts only work half of the time.

·          The fairways and the rough are essentially the same, since they rarely, if ever, cut or water the grass.

·          The course is surrounded by some of Naperville's finest housing projects.  Do your best to ignore the residents.

·          The cops are here every week because of some sort of disturbance,

The UGLY

·          The 'Pro' Shop SUCKS and is way overpriced. Buy your balls, tees, etc. before showing up. There is a Golf Galaxy & Target store on Rt. 59, about 2 miles away if you need any additional equipment. Of course, if you really are a cheap f*ck, take a walk over to the driving range and pick up some of those practice balls for use on the course.

·          Three or four holes are within striking distance of some of Naperville's finest projects surrounding the course. We should all get a kick out of seeing how many of us slice the ball to put out a few windows, or denting the vehicles in the nearby parking lot.

·          After playing here, you will soon realize why this place has been nicknamed, GHETTO LAKES!